From the Beginning
by Erizabesu Miharu
Summary: Nobody in Circus knows where Gareki came from, not even Gareki. But his mother knows... and she thinks about him every day. Told from her POV; Gareki's birth and the reason behind her most difficult decision. Will she ever see him again? (In Honor of Mother's Day) Read, rate, and review!
1. Chapter 1

**FIRST: My TMNT fans, you are being so great to hang in there, while I take a breather from my story arch in that fandom. I just needed a taste of something different, but I WILL get back on track soon! I swear on a double pepperoni, stuffed-crust pizza!**

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 **So, I've been obsessed with Karneval since the first episode! I don't know how I will live until September, when Volume 8 becomes available in the US. Anyway, throughout it all, one constant thing's been bugging me... WHO ARE GAREKI'S PARENTS!?**

 **Raise your hands if you agree with me. We don't know anything before the slave ship that Gareki was on, where he was originally from, heck, we don't even know his real name! Tsubaki gave him the name 'Garkei', remember? (Not that I disagree with her choice.)**  
 **Well, I finally can't stand it anymore and have developed my own little theory. It's for fun, I don't known the mystical writings of Karneval, and I REALLLY hope that Touya Mikanagi lays some of my questions to rest in the next few volumes! She can completely disprove my theory for all I care. In this case, IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS!**

 **Hisa (Hee-sah) - Enduring, sustaining**

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So many rooms and no end of the work in sight... bedsheets, windowpanes, dresser tops, and the rugs. Yes, the rugs were the hardest to maintain.

"Hisa." Kohana touched at her friend's shoulder, the evil vaccumm itself strung over her shoulder. "Come now, pick up that chin. I already promised to help you out on this floor today."

Hisa nodded. "And I'm so grateful. Really, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"You complaining about the work to be done? That's just due course for you." Kohana laughed with a toss of her head, her velvet brown hair bounding from beneath her bonnet. It was custom for all the ladies of the staff to wear them, but Hisa found hers so annoying and itchy, she often went without it. She kept her own midnight hair back in a braid that the bonnet couldn't hide anyway. She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she liked the way it made her dark-blue eyes stand out. She tended to be stand-offish about dressing up and making a fuss over her looks. She didn't see what the big deal was, when she and Kohana needed to wear uniforms six days out of the week.

Kohana was right of course. She gripped about the work daily, cleaning the opulent houses of the fabulous and wealthy. The 'other worlders' she often called them in her head. The ones who live in the world, yet never have a clue of the lives in the world. Nonetheless, even they needed their nooks and crannies cleaned.

"Now then," Kohana broke Hisa from her thoughts as she kicked open the first door of the hallway. "It's nearly ten and we've not dusted a single wooden surface! Inexcusable!"

Hisa managed a grin and followed her friend in to the den area. As always, she went to the gaping, smoke-streaked fireplace to scrape up the ash and dust out the flue. Overturning the flaky heap, the residue fumes rushed her nose... and upheaveled her stomach. There was no time to question it; Hisa gave a sudden lurch to the right and grabbed the ash tin in time to dump the contents of her breakfast.

"Hisa!" Kohana was at her side in an instant, catching the wisps of her hair. "Mercy... there, there... well, I guess we know now why you're been grumpier then usual."

 _In sickness and in health she dosen't shut up!_ Hisa moaned- somewhat fondly- and pushed the tin aside to catch her breath. "I'm... not grumpy."

"Pessimistic then." Kohana leaned her back, gentle hands on her shoulders.

"Realistic." Hisa gathered her legs underneath her. "I need to clean this up before someone comes by."

"You need to go home." Kohana's hand went under Hisa's bangs, checking her temperature. Hisa looked up, caught her friend's hazel-green eyes. How they glowed with hope, determination, and laughter. Kohana passed that glow to everyone that came in contact with her. They both considered it a slap to their employer's faces, who assumed their 'function' didn't allot for happiness.

 _Will she be happy for me now?_ Hisa flattened a palm to her stomach. _I'm not sure if I am._

"I don't need to go home." Hisa shook Kohana's hand off of her forehead. "I'm not sick."

Kohana's eyes narrowed at her. "YEEEESSS, you are! Let me worry about this floor and you-"

Hisa turned with the ash tin, toward the door. "I'm pregnant, Kohana."

Her friend's silence sounded louder then any of her usual frantic tones.

 **You can relax because I'm not stopping there!**


	2. Chapter 2

**}{Eight Months Later}{**

Hisa choked on the ice cube she'd been sucking on as another heavy bout of pain ripped up through her stomach and lower back. It stole her breath, her eye sight, any sense of how to think or feel- except to push. "HHHHHAAAAYYYYYHHHHH!"  
"That's enough of the ice." she heard the doctor say. "The baby... crowning... matter of time."

Her muscles! They felt so tight, Hisa feared they'd snap! Was this harmful to her child? How could it not be? Hisa forced her breath out, dragged it back in, until the muscles relaxed and her heart regrouped to its regular beat in her chest.

"You're doing well." the doctor looked up at her from the foot of the bed. He'd been reassuring her with his calm, airy voice, and intense gray eyes since he had arrived... almost twelve hours ago. Hisa didn't know his name and he didn't know hers. But she knew that she would remember those eyes, the ash-blond ponytail he kept tied at the nape of his neck, and that voice. It was the only thing helping her hold on at this point.

"My my," Kohana was there suddenly, dapping Hisa from all sides with a wadded towel. "Look at how you glow! You've been trying to steal mine for years, so I suppose it was only a matter of time..."

And Kohana. Hisa couldn't forget all that she had done and was doing.

 _"It's his isn't it." she had stated that day in their apartment after work, far away from listening ears. Hisa hadn't given her a nod back, only a heavy glance down to the floor. "Tell no one. He can't know, you understand?"_

 _Kohana's first response had been a hug, suffocating Hisa against her. "Of course."_

 _There was no need for questions because Kohana already knew. They both knew the type of man he was. Hisa sometimes wished for Kohana's round cheeks and ungraceful demeanor, that had kept her safe from his reach. He only like the pretty things._

 _Hisa had clung onto Kohana to push the memory back. Kohana's uniform smelled of the cleaners they used, making Hisa's stomach turn sour again. But she kept to her friend's hug a little longer before making for the restroom._

Kohana had been the one to cover the few times Hisa had to miss work with morning sickness, keep her swollen belly hidden from the head eyes in the months that had followed. And within the last day- thankfully a Sunday- she had found a doctor, gotten them both to Karasuna, and here they were. Hisa would owe her forever. She put her trust in the doctor, her faith in her friend, and her will into the child struggling within her. She carried on this way, hair curled and clumped around her head in sweat, for another hour. Until that finally push, where Hisa's cry and her baby's sounded together.

"WWYAH-WYAH-WYAH!"

Hisa dropped into the damp pillows, her dazed vision watching the ceiling swirl. _It's here!_

"It's a... a boy!" Kohana exclaimed. "A boy, Hisa!"

 _He's here._ Hisa rephrased. _He's here._

She was so exhausted, relieved... and scared. She still hadn't answered Kohana's questions about when the baby was born. A baby, they needed so much. Hisa had never had much and over the last few months, adoption had sounded like the better option. But now her arms ached, itched to see him. They wanted him close, rather then far away. She struggled up onto her elbows. "Let- let me see him."

"Hold your horses!" Kohana held her off until the doctor had cleaned the baby and brought him over, wrapped in a fresh blanket. He placed the bundle of her son into Hisa's arms. Why did his weight surprise her? Was it because he was so tiny? The tips of his fingers were microscopic... his nose, barely more then a dot of existence. His head, small and wet as it was, disappeared beneath a thick net of jet-black hair.

 _My hair._ Hisa thought, shocked and breathless. She pulled the baby tighter to her. His cries quieted, his head rolling and his cheek brushing Hisa's arm. It was just a brush, but she could tell how soft his skin was.

 _You were inside me?_ Hisa blinked. _You?_

"He's beautiful, Hisa!" Kohana broke the trance, her voice full of tears. Hisa looked up with another blink. She didn't want to look away from her son. But she also didn't want her tears splashing on him, disturbing him. "He is. Kohana, he is, isn't he?"

"Beautiful." Kohana repeated, clapping her hands. "Smart too, I'll betcha."

"And healthy." the doctor mentioned, reminding his presence. Hisa turned her head to look at him, cleaning his tools at the sink. She swallowed through a suddenly dry throat. "Thank you... thank you. I will pay-"

"I'll leave an address where you can send the money." the doctor didn't look up from the running water. "If you really want to thank me though, take care of your child." He looked up then, those gray eyes hard. "Whatever your circumstance."

 _That's a fair charge._ Hisa agreed with him. She'd told the doctor from the start not to treat her like a charity case. It was good to see he was obliging. Hisa tightened her arms ever so slightly around the baby. Her baby.

"Whatever my circumstance." she repeated back to the doctor.


	3. Chapter 3

**}{Two Years Later}{**

"Hisa!" Kohana grabbed her arm and whirled her around madly. "You can't-"

"I have to." Hisa told her, eyes on the floor and not her friend. She was trying to prepare herself for seeing her son's face and Kohana's frantic expression would do nothing to steel her. "He suspects something, ever since his last visit to the mansion. He wants to know where I live. I can't- I won't-" she gripped her fingernails into her palms. "They're sleaze bags, Kohana, all of them."

"Not all." Kohana insisted. "There are some-"

"But not him!" Hisa shook her head, her insides churning with the recalled strokes of his knuckles on her cheek. "Anyone who's ever worked there, knows it. There's something below the surface, besides his womanizing. Something dark and cruel, something that only lives for the control of others. I can't trust that he'll ignore my son's existence, like so many others would. He has none of his own and his kind will do anything for an heir. I don't have to tell you this."

Kohana hung her head, coddling her forehead against Hisa's. "So... will you leave?"

"How?" Hisa watched the planks of the floor blur in the film of her tears. "Things... they've been changing this last year. Zinnen and Ito... where are they?"

"They quit." Kohana said, giving a feeble shrug. Hisa drew their heads up, keeping Kohana's eyes on her. "And haven't been to visit? Moved out of their homes, no forwarding addresses? And-" she swallowed. "And Torao."

"Hisa, please-"

" _That_ was not an accident!" Hisa hissed, even as her friend covered her tear-stained cheeks with her hands. She never did well when thinking about the dark places of a human heart. To her, there was no place that the light did not touch, no hidden crevices of malice or evil. Hisa knew better. This knowledge strengthened her resolve, when it was in danger of crumbling to nothing.

Kohana removed her hands, eyes glowing again with renewed determination. "Ozuru and I will take him. We'll be married next month. We can say he's a distant relative we've adopted."

"A distant relative who's lived with me, a complete stranger, since his infancy?" Hisa shook her head at the well-hearted idea. "We lived far enough away that I didn't try to hide him." she reminded herself to breathe. "I couldn't hide him. He... he was mine to show..."

Kohana watched her struggle, keeping her hugs and comments silent for once. Hisa was grateful because she couldn't make the words stop. "He has to stay mine, Kohana. So much has been taken from me, and they'll always seek to take from us. That's the pecking order, it's our lot. But I won't submit my son to that. I can't take that chance... he's my happiness. The slap to their faces."

Kohana watched her still, eyes glassy and cheeks wet. She often said that she needed to cry for both of them. Not this time though... Hisa had just cried her tears already. Finally, Kohana drew a deep sigh. "What do you need from me?"

Hisa about gripped her forearms in relief. She cleared her throat to voice the plan she'd been formulating since yesterday. "Saturday is our rare day off, two days from now. We'll play it like we've planned a big shopping trip into the city..."

Her throat was thickening, but Hisa pushed it down and filled Kohana in on the rest.


	4. Chapter 4

**TISSUE WARNING: I was crying as I wrote this chapter... that's what I get for writing it on Mother's Day!**

Hisa leaned against the kitchen counter for support against her wavering resolve. She had gotten careless. Maybe talked about him too much, but who could blame a mother for that? Emotions such as love, pride, courage- and yes, fear- took on a new value in motherhood. They swallowed Hisa some days, in a warmth and purpose she'd never felt before.

 _They're stronger and deeper then I ever thought they could go._ Hisa reasoned to her weak heart. _And I will die before it is taken away from me!_

"Maaa." came a whine from the bedroom that Hisa was reluctant to enter. Kohana was with Ozuru tonight; she'd asked for that. A night with her son before tomorrow. She was taking him to an orphanage just past the city. Would he cry? Or would he observe and calculate, like his midnight-blue eyes always seemed to do. He was a thinker. A thinker and a tinkerer, even at age two. The sitter complained about always having to take things out of his hands, before he tore them apart or mushed them together. Would he have the opportunity to tinker with little odds and ends at the orphanage? Not for long, Hisa hoped, before a nice couple came, looked into his quiet, inquisitive stare, and took him home with them on the spot.

 _I have to believe that._ Hisa told herself as she pushed off of the counter and stepped quickly into the bedroom. There was her bed and the crib she had found at a yard sale before he'd been born. There he sat, eyes half-drooped, yet waiting for a proper bedtime tuck-in. Hisa drank in his features, frozen before his crib for a moment.

"Lie down, you spoiled runt." Hisa told him. She lowered the side of the crib, forbidding the bars from keeping her from her child. She got down on her knees, her son on his side, watching her... then showed that somewhat sly grin. Hisa's chest contorted, feeling a rip in her heart. "Can your mom talk to you a bit?"

He placed his thumb in his mouth, grabbled with her fingers with his other hand. He liked to study things... there was an anxiousness in him to learn.

"I thought I'd write you a letter," Hisa started, letting him lead her fingers back and forth. "Something for you to keep, read later. I know you'll learn to read, even if you miss some schooling. Thing is, I'm not good with words, and writing's even worse. So, I'm just gonna say a few things. You're little, but you'll remember them. You're... you're a smart little runt. I tell you that everyday because it's true."

He cocked an eyebrow at her, almost like. _I knew that, Mom._

"Your old lady was never too good in school." Hisa shook her head with a small laugh. "But I always loved history. Still do... it's interesting. I've read other books too, though. Books are important. Read as many as you can. But also remember to think for yourself. I was all about that, being independent and having my own opinions. And be sure to spend your time outside, get some sun on that face of yours."

He pulled his thumb out and stared at her, hard. _What's wrong with my face?_

"You've probably already noticed how I love to be outside." Hisa smiled. "Always have. I like to be in motion... can't keep still for very long. I'm not a quiet eater- I would cram three lamp chops in my mouth if I could. When I start something, I have to finish it, no matter what anyone says. It's a matter of principle and pride, a mix of the two..."

"...I... I'm not good at accepting myself." Hisa moved her hand out of his, brought it up to stroke the top of his head. "My parents were fine, but not the encouraging type, I guess. Someone pays me a compliment, I'm not sure what it means. Or I tell them it's not true. That's... that's how I got involved with your father."

Hisa resisted a flinch. She'd never mentioned him in her son's presence before. "I resigned myself to thinking that... it was all that I was good for. But, I've started believing those compliments; because of you. I realize that it takes a special person to be a parent, a mother..." She glanced down with a harsh bite to her lip. "Someone to make sacrifices and an effort for another life. That is something I'm capable of."

She looked up to find her son asleep. Asleep and oblivious. Hisa wanted him to stay that way. She wanted this night to stop, freeze... her son and her, together forever in their bedroom, safe and sound from the world. Hisa leaned in with a stifled sob and pressed her cheek to his. She heard him breathing, felt his body heat soaking into her skin. The rip in her heart lengthened and Hisa had to force her next few breaths in and out, drinking in the scent of her child.

"Your mother..." she whispered next to his ear. "Loves- loves you. Always. Every day, I'm going to whisper that to you. And, wherever you are, you're going to hear it."

 _He'll hear it._ Hisa told herself, the heartache exhausting her. _He'll hear it... and he'll know that I love him._

 **Well? Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more chapters! Thanx for reading so far.**


	5. Chapter 5

**}{One Month Later}{**

"You know why I sent for you, surely?"

 _I thought it was obvious._ Hisa watched her toes curl into the plush burgundy carpet. Everything in the bed chamber was plush... and she couldn't imagine a more uncomfortable finery if she tried.

"Answer me." He instructed over his shoulder, tying the rope of his robe around his waist. Another man might accompany that demand with a slap or a shake. Not him; he let others handle the dirty side of things... nothing that could be proven, of course. Hisa squared her shoulders, settling into her coolest expression. "I'm can't be sure what you're referring to, sir."

He moved from the post at the foot of the bed, giving her the mad glint of his peripheral as he approached the tea table. "Don't be cryptic. It is the language of my many businesses and I can spot a poor performance with my eyes closed."

Hisa longed to close hers at this moment. His face near hers, his hands... it turned her stomach against the dinner she'd eaten. But to close them would be showing weakness. The slightest opening and he would pounce.

"Why did you move, Hisa?" he questioned again, sitting down to the tea table, his back to her. He always left her- the other women too, no doubt- to dress like that. He would sit at the table, laden with his crystal tumblers and wine glasses, pouring himself a dark red. The message of this ritual was clear; they were of no use or value to him, once given what he wanted.

"I moved." Hisa stared up to meet his glint, even though it'd vanished. "I needed a lower rent. Not that I need your approval-"

"Your job is not to need." he cut her off, placing his voice low. "And don't presume that I need you to fulfill mine."

 _Oh, I'm well aware._ Hisa drew her shirt on, willing her hands to maintain a steady pace. "Yet, here you are."

His head turned and Hisa stilled as his eyes came over her. Seeking control of the situation as always, but... why did there seem an edge of desperation to this glance? He was in danger of stepping into a light Hisa had never seen him... was he actually sweating? Why would her moving cause such rouse, when he had the pick of the other maids to fill his bed?

"A maid and a maiden are of two different classes, I'm told." he leaned back into the chair, his posture easing back to its familiar pose. "You, my dear Hisa... I find you to be the exception. To put it simply, you please me." His eyes lifted. "Did I please you?"

Hisa's insides froze over. "Who says 'no' to those with money and power? You use this to your advantage."

His closed his eyes with a slight chuckle. "It is the infallible nature of mankind. It is, I believe, something we can never evolve from- and something I will never fall from." His eyes opened as he raised the glass he'd filled. When next he spoke, his tone was as light as the sip he took. "Yet, again, there are exceptions. Are you one of them, Hisa?"

Hisa stared back at him, her shroud of indifference, like her shirt, firmly in place.

"Were you pregnant?"

Hisa kept her gaze on the side of his face. _He turned three last week... I whisper 'I love you' every night for him... my heart aches to see the inches that he's grown..._

"Where you got such a notion is beyond me." Hisa quirked the left corner of her lip up and resumed dressing. "No, I've not been pregnant."

He held himself for a silent minute, eyes never leaving the view of the room through the wine glass."I shall have to speak with the head of the house about the length of gossip among the staff. You can go now."

And the snakeskin was back on, so seamless that one had to sense it before they could hope to see it. Hisa slipped into her skirt, her hose and shoes, and prepared for her exit, counting each step that took her farther away.

"Hisa."

Hisa paused at the door, fingers egging at the brass knob- one of the many she shined. "Another question?"

He gave another of those calm, chilling chuckles. "Have this wine replenished by tomorrow."

"Yes, Mr. Palnedo."


	6. Chapter 6

**}{Nine Years Later}{**

Hisa sighed as she came to the third door with an automatic lock barring her entry. She tried the handle once for good measure, then moved on down the endless hallway. She was starting to question this new job she and Kohana had landed in the past week. It was a new mansion- nay, a mausoleum- that had been built within the last three years, almost a forty-minute bus ride from the town where they lived.

 _"Is it really worth it?" Hisa had wondered as Kohana had first told her about it._

 _"One day's work will pay for a year's worth of bus rides!" Kohana had exclaimed, assessing their cleaning supplies. "And there'll be plenty left over to lavish Mari on her birthday this year. Plus..." Kohana looked down at her belly, which had just begun to swell. "With Ozuru laid up and the baby's check-ups... Hisa, I don't want him to worry." She grabbed Hisa's wrist. "I don't want to worry. It's not good for my personality!"_

Hisa hadn't realized that natural happiness needed to be maintained. But with all these rooms sealed, could they expect to be paid the full rate? Two doors behind her, the handle rattled and then it opened. Hisa looked up as a young, red-haired man moved stepped out, his eyes on her immediately. They were also red, made razor sharp with flecks of gold... or maybe that was the lighting.

"This room is ready." He gestured inside with his chin. Hisa nodded and picked up her tub to walk back. One room was better then nothing.

"Show Miss Eleska to her tutor, Uro." a voice stopped her in mid-bend. "And ensures that she stays there, to fully complete her studies."

"Really, Grandpa! How can you be so cruel as to keep me in school when it's my summer vacation."

Mr. Palnedo was looking at Hisa as she straightened and didn't bother to answer. Hisa wished to turn, run, disappear. But his eyes held her over the light-pink hair of the young girl pouting next to him. _Grandpa?_

She wasn't so aloft that she didn't know that Palnedo had a granddaughter. But it was still something hard to grasp. Hisa breathed out her shock and moved toward the door. The man, Uro, gently led Eleska off in the opposite direction. This left Palnedo to linger in the doorway, a dark sentry for Hisa to pass through to the other side. If she slipped through, her head held in due respect, it would be over...

"My compliments on the company's newest residence." Hisa found the words leaving her mouth. Why!? Why couldn't she just stay silent!?

"This residence belongs to no one but me." Palnedo countered her instantly. "As such, I would only hire the best to look after it."

Hisa froze on her first few steps into the room, an office big enough for twelve people. What did he mean by _that?_

"Come now," his voice oozed through a self-satisfied smile. "It's not so hard to place together. One can control even gossip, when it's whispered in the right ear."

Hisa didn't turn to face him this time. She was afraid of what her face might show as her mind struggled to catch up. "Why all the fuss?"

"Call me nostalgic." Palnedo moved a step closer behind Hisa. But she bore down on the clamp he sought on her soul. "You were never one for sentiment."

"You were never held back by formalities." he laughed, if such a verb applied to him. The door clicked shut on them, Hisa's heart skipping with it.

"I have found this life to be a tangle of strings and threads, much like the Chinese." He murmured low, just above her ear. "Attaching us to others... and people are often naive enough to believe they control their threads."

He was testing her. Hisa only watched the windows that spanned the wall beyond the dark, wooden desk. _He doesn't know... He couldn't know!_

"Do you want to know what happened to him?"

The tub fell through Hisa's fingers, hitting the floor. Her chest began to burn, as though she couldn't get enough air. _No!_


	7. Chapter 7

"It seems the facility you chose became crowded some two years after you dropped him off." Palnedo's voice rammed into Hisa's ear, no matter how clotted she tried to will it. _You don't hear him. You can't hear his lies._

"The selection process started to slip, I'm told," he went on. "Many of the children... I was fortunate enough to trace the couple that ended up with our boy."

His words... they were a burn goring into the back of her shoulders, scoring through to her heart. "Where? Where is he?"

"Are you demanding?" he uttered, amused.

"You would pay whatever it took." Hisa hissed through her teeth. There were no tears for her, not with this man. "Your daughter's dead and your to self-important to die the lone millionaire. You need someone to carry your name."

His hand clutched her arm then. " _My_ name, fair Hisa. Not yours."

"Where is he?!" Hisa pulled away from his breath, whirling on him. But Palnedo's face stopped her hand from delivering its slap. "It seems his adoptees found him more valuable as the cargo of a ship."

Ship? Cargo?... A slave ship!? Hisa's hand covered her mouth, protesting the bile that climbed her throat. His eyes watched her and it was too late for her to pull the horror back. He didn't smile, didn't frown... his indifference was the only cord holding her up.

"Circus destroyed the ship on its fourth day out."

She dropped her eyes to the knees of his slacks, pressed and crisp at the seams. This was her punishment for thinking that... Hisa jerked back as his knuckles slithered to touch her cheek. He held his hand there, his indifference gone and a contemplative smile in its place. "I discovered this only last year. It never sat with me, the look in your eyes that night. But then..."

Hisa turned away. She couldn't let him see her break, no matter how futile her efforts. Palnedo was up behind her in an instant, his fingers back to suffocating her arm. "I rather wished that it had been true. My daughter and son-in-law having passed on, I would've welcomed him."

"You would've controlled him." Hisa corrected him. Her chest.. it was burning, the heat needing to be released. "Gotten him to think like you-"

He pulled her in, his hold enough to make her veins pop. "It's important to keep one's legacy in the family. Teach them their expectations... and their place."

"His _place..._ " Hisa's voice moved on its own. "would never have been with you."

Palnedo let go of her arm to run his thumb along her jawline. "Impudent as ever. Though... a little too wrinkly for my taste."

Hisa kept her gaze straight ahead as his thumb fell away. She listened to his steps and the door click back open. "I have not chosen a final staff for this household yet, but I think you'll make a reliable addition. It's the type of place that's sure to have you reflect on the decisions of the past."

The door shut behind him, leaving the study silent and Hisa in the middle of it. She didn't move the first few moments, images clouding her vision. A ship, destroyed by Circus, the ultimate defense force over the towns and countries. None of their operations went quietly... had the ship burned before the sea had claimed it? She shuttered at the thought of burning metal, gallons of cold, salty water... which had killed her baby? How had he suffered?

 _No._ Hisa bent to a knee in an absent reach for her plastic tub of supplies. _Don't... stop thinking! Get cleaning; stop thinking!_

That was the logic, but her body didn't move. And her mind raced. Her son, his two-year-old self screaming through the heat as the ship burned. Her little boy sinking, the waves pushing his black hair over his eyes, pulling him into the deep, deep darkness... Hisa's head pulled the rest of her body until her forehead cracked against the floor. She didn't feel it. The rip that had started in her heart nine years ago, now tore straight through. It tore up her throat, escaping in a sound only akin to a wounded animal.

 _I was stupid._ Hisa choked in. _I was so stupid to think myself clever. Why did he have to be the one to pay for it?! The sacrifice that I was capable of..._

She had lied to her son. And every 'I love you' that she had whispered in the lonely dawns and dusks... it was all a lie now.


	8. Chapter 8

**}{Three Years Later}{**

The room had been ordered off-limits to the staff. Nonetheless, Uro had summoned Hisa in, actual concern in his voice when he'd called for her. And when she saw the bloodied boy laying across the bed, she understood it was because of her discretion. In her months- endless months- at the Smokey Mansion, Palnedo had made good on his control over her, opening Hisa to the horrors he _was_ capable of.

The treatment he approved of his fellow humans, stealing and manipulating their lives... for the sake of 'progress' and 'evolution'. She'd always known that his money was dirty, but now saw it damp with the tears of his countless victims. Her knowledge came with a cost though... should she ever speak of what she knew, then Kohana and her family were the next test subjects.

In short, Palnedo terrified her. His underlings however, like Uro, were worse. They welcomed their evil disposition, barely human before their transformation. And for Kohana and Ozuru's sakes, Hisa kept quiet of the darkness that surrounded her.

 _This boy was raised in warmth and light._ Hisa believed the minute she saw his pale face and light blue hair. _What is he doing here?_

"You're the house physician, Uro." Hisa pointed as she stood by the foot of the bed. "You'll be more help to him then me."

"A kind title." Uro opened his black medical bag across from her. "But even I don't have four arms. Besides, it was Mr. Palnedo's wish that you tend to him."

Uro's head lifted to reveal the dark humor in his eyes. "Something about your maternal instincts being the best-suited for the job."

Hisa didn't waver from his eyes; she had had plenty of time to build a tolerance to them, along with Palnedo's jabs. They were her punishment after all, another avenue for Palnedo to cast his torment down. Yet, what he took for brokenness in Hisa, was in fact her resolve. Yes, her son was dead; there, she had failed. So, what could she live for now? The chance- no matter how remote- to witness Palnedo's fall. The battle raging between him and Circus... it would only be a matter of time.

"I have him sedated," Uro pulled her thoughts back into the bedroom. "but his wounds need stitched and bandaged immediately. Do as I say _when_ I say it."

"No need for a threat." Hisa moved up the side of the bed, pushing her stomach down at the sight of red-stained sheets. "I'll do anything to keep from adding another victim to your pile."

Uro overlooked that, focusing intently on the boy. Surgical gloves on, he peeled the boy's shirt back, exposing the chest and torso. Hisa lost all color at the gaping hole above the boy's belly button. Were they preparing to close that? Uro nodded to the tray he had set up alongside the bed. Needles, surgical thread, clamps, scalpel... oh boy!

Hisa looked at Uro, then back at the boy. He was pale, withering... and someone's son. Her heart pumped a little harder as she held out her hand for the needle and thread.


	9. Chapter 9

It took them over an hour. The short intestines needed stitched before the boy's flesh could be closed, and his blood squirted hap-hazardously at the tiniest infraction. Hisa was running out of gauze pads and keeping him hydrated with water pills that Uro handed her. Finally, the last stitch closed, Hisa and Uro leaned back from the bed and breathed deeply. Hisa turned her head so her hair could finally fall out of her eyes. She craned her neck to feel the late day sun on her face. The boy lay on the bed, breathing just as deep.

"Who... who is he?"

"You needn't bother to ask." Uro told her, already standing and re-tying his tie. His tone had regained its faux charm. It was like a bottle of champagne left in the sun for too long. One found it beautiful, enticing- until they took a sip. Hisa composed herself and set to propping the boy up for when he woke. She lowered his head into the pillows, a hand cradling his neck. He had been sedated the whole time... when had he last eaten? Why had he been brought here? And... where was his family?

"We'll leave him to rest." Uro commanded, moving to the door.

"And then what?" Hisa glared at his back. Uro paused, a sly glance over his shoulder. "You believe we've nurtured him, just to kill him? His... preservation is vital."

Hisa clutched the sheets in her fingers. _Preservation? That's all a breathing body is to you!?_

"His name is Karuko. It's not my advise that you become too attached however." Uro continued moving to the door. "But it was Palnedo's wish that you tend to him. He trusts your..." he chuckled. "Maternal instincts."

Hisa pitted her face against the inner twisting of her 'instincts'. To kill Uro was the strongest one; but she knew it would be futile. So she let him make his exit and tended Karuko. But all that boiled down to was keeping vigil. And that left Hisa alone with her thoughts, probably as Palnedo wanted. Hisa didn't need to be alone though, to be hounded by her failures and regrets. It seemed forever before Karuko's eyes began edging open. Hisa moved from the window and placed her hand over his.

"Easy there." she said with her gentlest smile when Karuko's eyes found her. They blinked, then gained coherence. "Where-"

Hisa's heart ached for him. "It'll be fine. You'll be away from here soon."

Karuko turned to her, found her face. "M-Mother?"

Something jolted Hisa. Something painful, something that threatened to gouge her heart right out. She didn't remember getting up, only running- getting as far from Karuko and his word as she could. What he said was impossible. She knew that. Her son would've been fifteen years old, younger then Karuko. And her son would've had black hair. And... her boy had died and that... that...

 _I've never heard myself called that before._ Hisa covered her mouth, pushing through the back glass doors to take in the fresh air of outside. Why? Why did she have to remind herself of that? Because she didn't have a body to bury, or a shrine to visit? Not even a photo to hold tight? Hisa bent over, catching her breath, her mind, before she lost it. She leaned into the wind sweeping across the back terrace that opened to the grounds. It was a meadow that sprawled behind the mansion, a greenhouse to the left and a string of woods to the right. Hisa drew herself up, inhaling a deep breath. _I'm not a mother. Not anymore. I was hardly one to begin with._

It hurt, the mantra she'd adopted for herself. But it was either that or be drowned in grief. Hisa looked out over the meadow, catching the sight of someone- no, two someones-

Hisa gasped as Miss Eleska was suddenly there, barreling past her and out into the meadow. "Watch out! Really!"

"Excuse me, miss." was Hisa's automated response. She hadn't felt it. She watched Miss Eleska dash through the grass, recognizing now that it was Palnedo and...

Hisa touched a hand to the splendid pillar beside her. _It can't be!_

The boy she'd just left, barely conscious or coherent... how could he be standing on his own accord in the middle of the meadow?


	10. Chapter 10

**}{Three Weeks Later}{**

Hisa burst into the office, only halting to gauge the unexpected presences in the room. Palnedo must have been holding a meeting of sorts. The three men were surprised to see her; this room was only accessible by key card and code. But all it took was a moment of diverted attention to acquire one.

"Are you lost?" Palnedo looked up at Hisa from his lengthy desk. "This room is strictly-"

"The item you requested to my care, sir." Hisa managed to bite out. "I entered the room just now and it is not there. Has 'it' been moved?"

Palnedo took his precious time glancing her over. Hisa was boiling under the surface with worry, agony, and anger. She felt it in the sweat along her hairline. The wisps of her ponytail itched her neck, somehow fueling her even more. Yet, she knew that hysterics over Karuko's disappearance would only get her thrown out. Where would that leave Karuko?

"I appreciate your diligence to your duties, Miss Hisa," Palnedo leaned on an arm of his desk chair, bringing his voice down hard on her name. _You're still mine to control,_ he was saying.

"However, you needn't worry." Palnedo continued. "It's been removed from your care."

Hisa's throat clenched at the glare tinting from behind his glasses. _No! Not this time!_

Hisa moved closer to the desk. "Mr. Palnedo. I would normally trust your judgment. But on this matter, I must insist on my care. My instincts are without reserve; your words exactly, I believe."

The amusement was back; oh how he liked when someone challenged him.

"Mr. Palnedo-" one of the men stepped forward. Palnedo stopped him with a raised hand. "A moment, gentlemen."

The guards exchanged glances, but saw themselves into the adjourning room. Palnedo was smiling before the door closed. "I see that old fire hasn't completely vanished; despite my best efforts."

"You mean the death of my son." Hisa hissed out at him.

"The death of _our_ son." Palnedo rephrased.

"Where's Karuko?"

Palnedo's posture remained lax in his chair. "And if I tell you, what then? You'll rely on your instincts to pull him out of whatever hole I've thrown him down?"

 _He still mocks me!_ Hisa's body trembled. "I knew enough to rob you of a legacy."

In that instant, Palnedo peeled his snakeskin and lashed for Hisa's throat. Hisa gasped at the pressure, but she stayed where she was. Any resistence and he would squeeze harder.

"You always did amuse me." Palnedo sneered, his cold expression going dark. "But I think it's time I found a new use for you."

He pushed her back, but that wasn't what caused Hisa to fall back. It was the red-eyed, flying black beast that suddenly rose up behind him. Where had it come from... _what_ was it? No, she knew what it was. She was just used to seeing the seamless abominations of Kafka.

"When you awake," Palnedo sent the fluttering beast over the desk to hover over Hisa. "I promise, you'll be more agreeable."


	11. Chapter 11

_"When you awake," Palnedo sent the fluttering beast over the desk to hover over Hisa. "I promise, you'll be more agreeable."_

More agreeable? What did he mean by that? Hisa felt a shutter, remembering all the rumors that weren't rumors, disappearances among the staff and dinner guests... she'd just become another statistic in Circus' investigation.

"I was right." Hisa glared past the beast, piercing Palnedo. "I was right to keep him from you."

She steeled herself for whatever the creature would do. _Karuko, I'm sorry._

"Mr. Palnedo!" the door was thrust open, a guard bolting in. Hisa rolled onto her stomach and pushed herself up.

"You fool!"

"Sir, the front gate is-"

"Don't let her leave!" Palnedo ordered and a hand seized Hisa's arm. She twisted, thrusting her palm into the guard's chest. It staggered him back and Hisa slipped her hand away, clutching the gun from his side holster. She lit out of the office and down the hall. Footsteps echoed hers, but Hisa only ran faster. She reached the stairs at the end- the servant's corridor- climbed them two at a time, and slammed the door at the top. It didn't lock, but Hisa didn't need it to. She knew this house.

Hisa pushed open the second door. It opened to a bedroom that lingered above the kitchen; as such, it shared a dumbwaiter. Hisa knew that it was a tight fit, but she sandwiched herself in and hit the button to lower her down. She didn't know what was going on, but she now that there was a chance, she needed to find Karuko! If there was a security breach, Palnedo would on lockdown for a few hours.

 _And Uro?_ Hisa reminded herself. _No! One thing at a time._

"Hisa?" the pastry chef opened the dumbwaiter, his face utterly confounded. "What-"

"You haven't seen me, understand." Hisa ordered, hitting the ground running. She was out and past the dining hall when the first explosion sounded from above. Hisa paused a second, startled, but kept going. She needed to make it to the main control room. Security cameras covered the entire estate and Karuko had to be on one of them.

Hisa dodged as two of security passed her, talking rapidly into their comms. They didn't even notice her. Hisa didn't question it, making her way to the middle door of the hall. It 'separated' the servant's quarters from the rest of the mansion, an appropriate location for the epicenter. Hisa swiped the same key card she had lifted before. It would ask for the code next... wait-

 _The door's unlocked._ Hisa wondered at the green light on the pad. So, were there people inside? What, of course there would be! What had she been thinking, that it would be a clear path to getting out of here? But still... Karuko. Hisa breathed out and withdrew the gun, which she'd tucked into the waist of her apron. She released that breath as she used her shoulder to thrust the door open, gun leveled at the first chest she saw. However, she wasn't expecting a blond man in a top hat and a boy in a white jacket with goggles wrapped around his black hair.


	12. Chapter 12

They weren't security. Security was lying unconscious at the feet of these two young men. They were, however, as startled by Hisa as she was by them. Her glare fell short and her arm lowered the gun. She _wouldn't_ shoot children.

"That's our cue!" the blond cried. He bolted, grabbed his colleague by the waist and hurled them both through the room's only window. Hisa stared after them a moment, watching the shattered glass fall. Then her head turned to see the security monitors. They were there, towards the bottom of the mass of screens. She still had a chance to find Karuko! Hisa stepped into the room.

A hand yanked Hisa back by the neck. "Get out here!"

"No!" Hisa drew the gun up, but a hand wretched her wrist and made her drop it. Hisa was pushed to her knees and cringed at the barrel pressing into her temple. She closed her eyes. _My son..._

"My good man," a voice tsk-tsked over them and the guard's weight was pulled away from Hisa. "No offense, but you need a refresher course on how to handle women."

The guard dropped like a sack next to Hisa. She scrambled up, putting some distance between them. She looked up at the red-haired man- also in a top hat- that had magically appeared. He stood, tall and flowing in a suit and tie, a cool smile on his face. "Alright, I trust?"

"You're..." Hisa's brain clicked the pieces together then. "Circus."

"Indeed," he gave a bow and flair with his cane. "The Suave Sailor of the Skies, I am Tsukitachi, Captain of Airship One of the National Supreme Defense Force 'Circus'" He threw a wink at her. "Pleasure's all mine."

He was aware that the Smokey Mansion was literally smoking, right?

 _They can put a stop to all this!_ Hisa's heart soared with the first hope felt in a long time. "You should know that Palnedo designed this building with an escape in mind."

"Naturally." Tsukitachi chuckled. "You know where?"

"Below." Hisa answered. "Gray door and a long flight of stairs."

Tsukitachi tipped his top hat to her and bowed again. "I thank you. Follow the rabbits. They'll see you out safely, ya know, before things get too hairy."

"The-" Hisa spotted that there were indeed three white rabbits, dressed in velvet jackets and... what was with Circus and top hats?

"I- I can't." Hisa put her mind back on track. "There's a boy, here somewhere. I need to see that he's alright-"

"He will be." Tsukitachi assured her with another collected smile. "Leave it to us."

"But you-"

"Trust Circus, fair lady." Tsukitachi was already walking past her and the rabbits, and down the hall. "He's the entire reason we're here."

 _What?_ Hisa stared after him.

"Hop." one of the rabbits suddenly spoke! "We will escort you outside, hop."

Escort? Rabbits were going to escort her out? Well, there were worse ways to finally leave this house behind.


	13. Chapter 13

**Forgive this HUGE gap in updates, but I was sick. Like, withering with chills and fever type of sick!**

 **}{Two Days After The Raid}{**

"Hisa!"

Kohana rushed out to engulf Hisa in a crushing hug. It took Hisa a few moments to push her friend back, putting them at arm's length. "You look... well."

Kohana's head reeled back. "Well? That's all you have to say! After months and months of barely anything beyond a letter. A one-page letter, I might add!"

"I- I'm sorry?" Hisa offered weakly, knowing that it would have to do until later. She was exhausted.

"I'll make you sorry!" Kohana clutched at her forearms, eyes narrow, but bright. "But right now, you're too precious-looking to scold." Her head tilted then, glancing over Hisa's shoulder. "And... who's your chauffeur?"

Captain Tsukitachi was already dipping his head and communicating his illustrious greetings. Hisa let it play out, shaking her head. What was it with Circus members and their introductions? Yes, it was part of their bridge of rapport with the public, but it got old. She'd been up with them day and night, outlaying the depth of her intel with Palnedo, the Smokey Mansion, and even the faint threads of Kafka that she had learned over the past years.

"My word!" Kohana blushed ear to ear as Tsukitachi donned his top hat onto his short-cropped hair. "Is this where you've disappeared to these last few days?"

"At no inconvenience, I trust." Tsukitachi cut in for Hisa again. "Your friend has been a true asset to our organization. We can't hope to-"

"Did you see my tongue blow off in the explosion?" Hisa finally cut him off, her fatigue getting the better of her. "I'm capable of explaining my situation." Hisa eyed Tsukitachi. "Go woo the lonely widow next door."

"Actually," Kohana piped up. "Karin got married last month-"

Hisa closed her eyes. _Not the point, Kohana._

Tsukitachi, in the meantime, was laughing with his hand up to barely hide the fact. "Forgive me. You're just reminding of someone." He turned back to car they had driven up in. "I'll give you a few minutes; then we need to scoot."

Hisa rolled her eyes, then all but dragged Kohana back through her front yard and into her cottage. Her friend, a child under each arm, was firing questions at her as she slumped into a kitchen chair.

"Aunt Hisa," Mari, now a stocky seven-year-old came up and propped her elbows on Hisa's knees. "You should meet my new doll!"

"Mari," Kohana pulled the little girl back, kissing her forehead. "Take your brothers and clean your rooms. It's time for adult talk."

Mari sighed, but grabbed her siblings' hands and Hisa watched them disappear through the doorway. _Would my boy have been friends with them? A stand-in big brother for Mari?_

Would her questions ever stop?

"Alright," Kohana smoothed over her shirt and apron, settling herself down. "Spill it! And I mean spill it all!"

"They finally caught up to Palnedo." Hisa didn't need to specify who.

"The raid on the Smokey Mansion." Kohana nodded. "Everyone knows about this. Old news, moving on!"

Hisa had to giggle; all these years and her friend had never lost the energy of a four-year-old. "They arrested a lot of people, but not Palnedo. Circus has been waxing my brain for any or all information that I could give them on Kafka."

"Kaf-what?" Kohana interrupted. Hisa gave her a look, and Kohana zipped her lips. Hisa sighed deeply, dreading this next part. "Kohana... I have to go away."

Kohana blinked at her. "W- What? Why? Where?"

"I'm not even supposed to be mentioning this to you." Hisa rubbed at her forehead. "But, I couldn't leave without..." She reached out, gripped Kohana's hand. "You've been such a good friend!"

Kohana's face lost all its sparkle now. "Hisa..."

Hisa silenced her with a squeeze. "Circus has arranged a safe house for me. That's where Tsukitachi is taking me after this."

"And," Kohana's eyes began to glass over with tears. "No one can know where that is."

Hisa nodded. Kohana flung herself across the table and crushed Hisa against her. "YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT! DON'T YOU DARE FORGET ABOUT ME AND EAT RIGHT, ALWAYS DRESS WARM..."

 _I can't breath!_ Hisa struggled for a moment, but then gave up and let her friend squeeze her dry. She kept a close eye on the clock, saying good-bye to Kohana, Mari, and the boys just before her minutes were up. Tsukitachi was waiting for her and opened the door to the back of the limo.

"Did you take me advise about the widow?" Hisa smirked at him before getting in. He gave her the same smile as always. "Sorry, but Jiki beat me to it. Turns out the widow has a pair of twin daughters."

Jiki. Yes, the snarky one with glasses.

"And here I was thinking Circus was disciplined." Hisa shook her head. She glanced at Captain Tsukitachi; he was laughing like before. "Reminding you of someone again?"

Tsukitachi sat down with a shrug. "A recent recruit into our government academy. We have high hopes for him."

Hisa leaned her elbow on the window, dragging a finger through her hair. "The more assets Circus holds, the better."

"Oh, they're more then that." Tsukitachi grinned, his eyes wondering a bit. "More like children... or the annoying second cousins you're stuck raising."

There was affection to that statement and Hisa left it there. Who was she to argue with a father looking after his children?


	14. Chapter 14

**This is the type of story where I could write out several hundred one-shots between volumes 3-7, but there's no telling when this series will end or what other surprises Mikanagi will bombard us with in future volumes. So, I'm gonna cut to the chase and leave it there.**

 **What I'm saying is, this will be the last chapter... and we will be left to wonder and agonize over the truth behind Circus' twinkling airships!**

 **}{At the End}{**

Hisa breathed, but she wasn't aware of it. She remembered that last night beside his crib; her wish that time would freeze. That was her wish again, as she stood only a few feet from her son. Hisa needed this moment to stand still, give her time to take him in and understand the features he'd grown into. His height, his shoulders, cheeks, hands, and eyes. Hisa had let her imagination wonder, but never about the hair.

 _It's as black as ever._ Hisa felt a smile lodging in her throat. _A pointed chin, a long neck and frame... so skinny..._

It made sense. Hisa was of lanky build herself, only beefed up from lifting buckets and circulating dust rags over coffee tables. But his lank was different... he stared back at her with midnight blue eyes. They watched her, narrowed, suspicious, and guarded. What was he thinking behind them?

 _Probably how I could do something so cruel._ Hisa let her thought sting her. She deserved as much. But, even more, she deserved to know her son. _Right?_

"What," Hisa started, stopping when he flicked his eyes away. Did her voice hurt him? Hisa lowered her tone and tried again. "What's your name?"

He moved his eyes back to her, his face turning hard. "You didn't give me one?"

"It actually took me a couple days," Hisa said with a nervous laugh. "I couldn't decide. You seemed... like everything-" Hisa stopped again. Since when did she ramble? She swallowed the sob story. "I gave you a name. But, that's not what people know you as now."

He gauged her a moment, before studying the pictures on the opposite wall. "Gareki."

 _Gareki. Flower pebble._ "Who gave you that name?"

His eyes, watching anything but her, tilted down. Had that been the wrong question? "I... I would like to thank-"

"Thank her for what?" came a growl from his throat. "For doing what you couldn't!"

Hisa's back stiffened. His tone; she recognized the carry in his words. _He sounds like him!_

"Did- did you even try!?" he yelled now, hands shaking in fists at his sides. "Or could you just not be bothered? I was just another bundle on a doorstep, right!?"

Hisa's logic told her that he would never remember the two years she had kept him close. _It was to protect you! It was to keep you safe!_

Why wasn't her mouth opening to tell Gareki this?

"Whatever." Gareki hissed at her silence, turning for the door. "Just forget it."

 _Wait! Stop! Don't go!_ Hisa's mind was screaming, her feet moving a step to follow him. But there was no hope of catching him as he stormed from the room. There was a surprised cry as he swung the door open. "Ga-re-ki... don't give up yet! There's always hope! You still have us and NNYYANNPERRONNAA!"

"Get outta my face, you idiot!" Gareki yelled back and Hisa realized he was talking to the blond from the Smokey Mansion. Was he a friend of her son's?

 _Did this bring him one good thing then?_ Hisa dropped her face, trying to get a grip. When Tsukitachi had come back with a fellow Circus captain, she couldn't have imagined that they were leading her to this second chance. This stunning chance to see her son, alive, and finally say to him, _I love you._ Yet, as she thought back on what he had gone through, what had she given him to believe in her words? Hisa heard footsteps enter the room. She looked up at the straight-backed captain of Circus Airship Two, Hirato. He'd been the one shielding Gareki since he'd crossed paths with Circus... how was she to thank him for that? And the woman who'd given him a name? Hisa tried to brake her whirl of thoughts, catching Hirato watching her with that calculated, yet carefree expression. Hisa knew a false security when she saw one, but that was his job.

"Please," Hisa wiped at her tears. "Tell him it's alright to be angry."

Hirato looked amused at her request. "Gareki doesn't feel things unjustly. He's very self-aware."

That lifted Hisa's chest a little. She drew a composing breath. "I deserve it. I made a choice and... he paid for it."

"Hmmm," Hirato tapped a gloved hand atop his cane. "You have a rather harsh view of yourself, madam."

"Madam?" Hisa scoffed, glancing up.

"No doubt, you would've given him up, had you known what awaited him."

Hisa dropped her hands and stared, appalled. "Never!"

Hirato smiled, letting her response sink in. "What's done is best left in the past, so that we're reminded to live in the present. You needn't harbor blame, Hisa."

"I can for not being here to raise him." Hisa insisted.

"Then why didn't you?" Hirato raised his brows at her. Hisa pulled her emotions in, vanishing them from Hirato's scope. Circus knew a lot and lying on any scale was often futile. Yet, did they somehow know that Gareki was Palnedo's son? Gareki was attending the government school, she had learned. He was going to fight against his father's advocacy; it was enough to make her heart burst with relief and pride. But, if Circus knew... would it be enough to condemn him? Would it ruin his chances of a future?

"You know," Hirato was going on. "what Circus' great attribute is?"

"I couldn't guess." Hisa stifled a sniff. A handkerchief magically appeared before her, on the end of Hirato's hand. "It is our willingness to give up."

Hisa took the cloth, throwing him a befuddled look. Hirato straightened, holding himself in the proud posture of his station. "Mankind only remains ignorant by their own admission. When faced with the facts, we are given a choice; to live beside these facts or live as if they do not exist. Members of Circus are faced with this choice in its harshest sense. We are asked to face this world's darkest facts and, in doing so, we give up everything else. In short, we face the darkness so that others needn't."

He closed his eyes a moment. Was there an emotion he didn't want to reveal? Hisa shook her head at him. "That's all well and good, but that's not-"

"Your choice regarding your son is very much akin to that." Hirato's eyes reopened to reveal a somber respect. "You gave up the joy of a child, protecting him from the darkness you had to face. In another time, Circus would've been honored to have you."

Hisa was floored. Was he- _acknowledging_ her as an equal? She shook her head at the captain. "Don't try glorifying what I did."

"What you did," Hirato repeated, adding a smile. "Was set Gareki on a path that will have him fighting alongside us. We will benefit greatly from having him, I'm sure."

He was sure. Hisa thought a moment before she decided to grasp that. She couldn't be sure of anything else just yet. Whether her son would ever talk to her, if she would ever get the chance to tell him what she had whispered nightly for so many years. But Captin Hirato had faith in him. So, she would too.

 _I have faith in you, Gareki._ Hisa's soul smiled to itself. _Because I love you. From the very beginning, I've loved you._

 **THE END**

 **If you disagree with me, or have a Gareki theory of your own, now's the time to gush about it! Otherwise, thanks for reading!**


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